Social Essentiality of Courtship and Marriage Essay


Letter of Advice

Peter and Lynda

I cannot express the height of happiness that I hold for you as you make a noble choice to set into the most challenging aspect of life; marriage. The social essentiality of courtship and marriage is nested on the fact that it is the channel through which the fundamentals of humanity, such as families and societies, are formed. Aspects such as trust, love, time, friendship, understanding, loyalty, and sincerity are essential tools for establishing stable and long-lasting relationships. However, the most vital tools in the success of marital relations are communication. I gladly use this letter to introduce you to some of the issues that impede effective interpersonal communication, outline the potential roles that effective communication will play in your marriage and explain the appropriate levels of self-disclosure and emotional intelligence as you pursue your marriage. Additionally, this letter will recommend the applicable communication approaches in resolving household interpersonal conflicts. Lastly, I will factor in the potential implications of one’s gender and culture on marital interpersonal communications. Social Essentiality of Courtship and Marriage Essay

The Principles of, and Barriers to, Effective Interpersonal Communications


You might not be well aware of the fact that your relationship might be a beacon from which other links learn. My academic journey at Ashford University has subjected me to a lot of vital knowledge of interpersonal communication as an aspect of balancing one’s social life. Right now, I am equipped with the knowledge, which I can use to comprehensively explain and analyze principlesthat guide effective interpersonal communication (Bevan & Sole, 2014). In that same note, I aim to expound on the critical barriers that if not cleverly overcome, may mess the quality of this relationship that both of you have worked to establish.



The first principle of effective communication that everyone in a delicate relationship as marriage needs to master is understanding one’s self. This principle of effective interpersonal communication sets in at the first instance that you meet someone while in a relationship. This principle is built on the opinions that we establish at the instance when someone comes into our lives. Bevan &Sole (2014) describes communication as a set of non-ending and complex processes whose progress may be subject to the past experiences of the participants in that particular communication. The interaction that unfolds during the process of communication may have been influenced directly by the perception that one forms during several previous interactions.

To add on one’s ability to evaluate and understand themselves, they need to understand the motivations, emotions, weaknesses, and the communicative strengths of the other party. The general interest of your partner in communication is an ideal sign that should be read before engaging them into such a conversation. However, with all other aspects in place, it will still be challenging to maintain a reliable exchange of information without putting in proper and convenient timing for both of you (Webb & Rossignac-Milon, 2017). Strategically identifying a window of opportunity in the conversation is more likely to grant you the chance to be effective in communication with one another. Social Essentiality of Courtship and Marriage Essay


Effective communication processes are constructed on the particulars of “Shared Meaning.” My interpersonal coursework and outline were mostly dependent on Bevan & Sole’s (2014) textbook “Making connections: Understanding interpersonal communication.”Bevan & Sole (2014) illustrates that one of the key goals that drive effective communication between two individuals is to come to an understanding. This means that the two parties in communication have to share meanings and establish a connection between them (Cameron, 2007). In real life relationships, like yours, establishing shared meanings and identifying the connection between the communicating parties involves several complexities.

Becoming aware of the aspects that impede successful interpersonal communications within your marriage and applying recommendable approaches to wear out such barriers is a strong foundation upon which young relationships can be established (Bevan & Sole, 2014) — freely talking about the challenges that each of your experiences and striving to listen to one another’s perceptions of ideas solves most issues within the relationship setting. I understand that you both look forward to a fulfilling marriage (Lavner, Karney, & Bradbury, 2016). To do this, you must regularly practice and adopt a definite form of communication. Social Essentiality of Courtship and Marriage Essay

It is all right for the two of you to indulge in arguments, possibly fights sometimes. However, what is dangerous for the relationship is the failure to consent with the aspects and ideas that both of you are not totally or partly satisfied with. Inability to express one’s feelings and thoughts over a long time will potentially inform unnecessary fights. Effective two-way communication between the two of you will be ruined by one of the partners who continually agree with their partner’s ideas to make the procedures short, even if they do not align to these ideas (Farber & Sohn, 2007). It is therefore noble for the two of you, Peter and Lynda to maintain consistent communication and ensure that you stay on the same page with one another on specific household issues.

The roles of communication in developing and maintaining one’s self-concept, self-image, and self-esteem

Interpersonal communication and its roles in developing and maintaining your self-concept, self-image, and self-worth are for the benefits of each of you in this relationship. Both of you have invested valuable time and efforts in building this relationship and in striving to give each other the best of one another. However, at a personal level, your individuality is profoundly rooted in the individual perception of the world that you possess. Sole, 2011 asserts that one’s ability to put into proper assessment and management their urges, emotions, desires, and motivations have far-reaching implications on the condition of the relationship that they can establish and maintain. Having to sacrifice our needs at the expense of the needs of others in the links.Advancing collective efforts and operating as a unified team while putting into considerations the ideal moments in which your partner in emotional debt shields the relationship from external interferences. Social Essentiality of Courtship and Marriage Essay

If for example, Lynda feels that she is not adequately good looking or she expresses possible signs of dissatisfaction with self, she might feel as though everyone similarly holds them. Sole, (2011) explains that one’s individuality is constituted by the attitude which can be used to describe your personality. The means that one of the partners carries themselves sustains personal conception. Communication aimed at rebuking your partner’s power of self-misconception would gradually change the way they view themselves. For Peter, constantly reminding Lynda that she is the prettiest woman in the world is an ideal manner of redefining her self-concept.  Making yourself contented of what you are and what you have is remotely the best way to live and maintain a healthy lifestyle.

Communication uses words to express feelings and to signify things that one feels are extra. While speaking, it is easy for your partner to take your words and conceive them in a manner different from what you meant to communicate. It is therefore essential not to assume your clarity in communication, and instead strive to getter a better grasp of the situation in which your relationship is. Based on a difference in opinions, arguments might potentially accrue. Misconstruction might be the source of misunderstanding and should, therefore, be avoided since they are harmful to thriving relationships.Social Essentiality of Courtship and Marriage Essay

Along this journey, as you get deep into each other, you might realize your partner drove the times when becoming angry and upset on allegations. These instances might few, but they mostly arise from ignorance and not being able to understand what their points of fact mean. Without proper listening and evaluation of what has been said, it is difficult for either you or your partner to understand each of one another’s content. You will possibly engage flying tempers which potentially informs upsurge frustrations. Although I do not by any means advocate for you to spark arguments, it is correct to retain your personal view that contests your partner’s opinion on specific issues.

Appropriate levels of self-disclosure and emotional intelligence in various relationships

The appropriateness of self-disclosure in relationships is significant and cannot be overlooked as we strive to help partners establish stable marriages. Schoenberg (2011) argues that even though communication in relationships is described in divergent ways, long term marriages have explicitly been linked to the aspect of “self-disclosure.” Schoenberg (2011, para.4) describes self-disclosure as the process of sharing one’s private feelings, fears, and expressing their doubts and perceptions that they hold of their partners. Aspects such as expression of love and support were also linked to happy marriages.

Previous studies have also indicated that married couples practice self-disclosure to their partners than any other pair of people. Despite theconfidential benefits attached to marital self-disclosure, there are dire consequences of it that are undesirable. The feeling that accompanies being rejected by the person to whom one chooses to disclose themselves is something that could potentially lead to suicides. On the other hand, people fear to practice self-disclosure with their partners due to the fear that they might trouble the trust that their partners have established with them. Consequently, feelings of shame and guilt might arise. However, building love and relationship that overlooks previous interpersonal differences needs that all the cards are displayed before one another. Social Essentiality of Courtship and Marriage Essay

On the other hand, emotional intelligence equips us with the ability to actively listen in an empathetic manner interplaying the capabilities to monitor, regulate, and discriminate as a means t guide one’s thoughts and decisions. Active-empathic listening occurs only when the listener consciously shifted their focustowards the natural and emotional elements of the interactionAndrea Vickery (2012).  Both self-disclosure and emotional intelligence are essential tools for effective interpersonal communication for individuals who wish to establish healthy relationships. I firmly believe that a proper contextual application of the two concepts will see your link through some of the fiercest conflicts, from which you will emerge stronger.

Strategies for Using Communication Techniques to Resolve Interpersonal Conflicts

Conflicts in a relationship are harmful as they can lead to dangerous and violent behaviors which pose potential safety and security threats. Conflicts that end up emotionally, verbally, or physically destructive are worth walking out of for the sake of one’s safety. However, I want to believe that the two of you have not indulged into conflicts that reach that far. It is to your advantage to practice the small hacks that will help you overcome your interpersonal conflicts before they can emerge to undesired levels.I will refer to Bevan and Sole’s (2014) communication interventions to interpersonal conflicts. Social Essentiality of Courtship and Marriage Essay

  • Avoiding the “I” statementswhile finding a way around moments of conflict lifts the accusation from the other party in the communication. Instead of pointing the blame directly to your partner if what they said made you angry, it is only necessary to express what you feel. For example, it would be less of an accusation to say, “I feel angry” than to say, “You make me angry.” To avoid furthering conflicts, it is essential to mention your feelings but avoid mentioning their undoing.
  • Practice appropriate and convenient choice of time and place of a conversation with your partner during a moment of conflict possibly helps tone down either of the partners. Some conflicts demand immediate intervention before the situation spirals out of control.
  • Avoid inappropriate judgment. Emotions provide information on the immediate feelings about either of the partners. The fact that your partner chose to share some info indicates the directions of their feelings for you or an element within your relationship that sparked their emotions. Judging your partner based on your emotional differences potentially makes them withdraw the confidence they have established in you.
  • Clear and constructive expression of feelings. In the eye of interpersonal conflicts within the relationship environment, it is essential to present an articulate, honest, and transparent expression of yourthoughts, feelings, and emotions. It is not appropriate to attempt to eliminate the challenges during conflicts. It is more relevant to set realistic growth goals, so you gradually outgrow the sources of such conflicts.

The Impact of Gender and Culture on Interpersonal Communications

Gender and culture impact significant influence on how an individual communicates with their significant others. However, the difference in elements of communication between men and women are not very distant. In its definition and understanding, the term “gender” surpasses the mere context of sexual organs. For the sake of your knowledge, it is much better to analyze the roles of gender orientation in interpersonal communication instead.

(Bevan &Sole. 2014) Defines gender orientation as an individual’s psychological construction of gender identity, which depends on the complex combination of social, cultural, and personal elements of their lives.Blain &Speer illustrates that it is possible to differentiate between the writing patterns of a man from that of a woman by analyzing the content of their journals. However, there are more similarities than differences in the way these individuals use language. Social Essentiality of Courtship and Marriage Essay

On the other hand, cultural differences in aspects such as beliefs, values, traditions, and norms make communication between two individuals different. Both verbal and non-verbal interpersonal interactions are majorly affected by culture influx. However, I wish to urge both of you to learn from each other while putting into consideration the cultural backgrounds from which either of you emerges. Go ahead and merge the two cultures and make the best out of each other — my congratulations.

I believe that you have learned much from the content of this letter and that you will never let the path that the two of you are settled. Mastering the principles of effective interpersonal communication, and understanding the recommended approaches to overcoming the barriers that impede interpersonal interactions will help you maintain a happy and long-lasting marriage. I might be a professional in such matters, but the decision to settle on the most convenient household conflicts is entirely yours. Also, you should take into consideration the elements of self-concept, self-image, and self-esteem as they reveal much about your relationship than I can. I foresee a link that will overcome the greatest of temptations, based on my understanding of interpersonal communication. Together with additional lessons that you will gather along the way, put into use what you have learned today and you shall overcome unimaginable time together — a happy marriage, and once again, congratulations.Social Essentiality of Courtship and Marriage Essay





Jaren Antony




Bevan, J. L., & Sole, K. (2014). Making Connections: Understanding Interpersonal Communication. New York City, N.Y: Bridgepoint Education.

Cameron, D. (2007, October 1). What language barrier? Retrieved from The Guardian:

Farber, A., & Sohn, E. (2007). Patterns of self-disclosure in psychotherapy and marriage. Psychotherapy: Theory, Research, Practice, Training, 44(2), 226-231. doi:doi:10.1037/0033-3204.44.2.226

Lavner, J. A., Karney, B. R., & Bradbury, T. N. (2016). Does Couples’ Communication Predict Marital Satisfaction, or Does Marital Satisfaction Predict Communication? Journal of Marriage and Family, 78(3), 680–694. doi:10.1111/jomf.12301

Webb, E., & Rossignac-Milon, M. (2017). Stepping forward together: Could walking facilitate interpersonal conflict resolution? American Psychologist, 72(4), 374-385. Social Essentiality of Courtship and Marriage Essay

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